THAT’S NICE.
THANK YOU.
DON’T MOVE, PLEASE.
SO, WHY ARE YOU INSISTING
ON DOING THIS?
WELL, BECAUSE YOU’RE STARTING
PRIVATE SCHOOL TOMORROW.
YES, BUT I’M GOING TO BE
WEARING SHOES.
NOBODY’S GONNA SEE
MY FEET.
OKAY, BUT EVERYBODY KNOWS
THAT PRIVATE-SCHOOL GIRLS
ARE BAD.
ALWAYS WEAR RED NAIL POLISH.
AND BAD GIRLS
ARE YOU NERVOUS?
ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT STARTING CHILTON.
WELL, I WASN’T UNTIL I HEARD
ABOUT ALL THOSE BAD GIRLS.
“APPLE VENUS VOLUME 2”!
GUYS, XTC —
BUT YOU ONLY FINISHED
HALF MY TOES!
GONNA BE WEARING SHOES ANYWAY!
Lorelai: WHO CARES?! YOU’RE
♪ IF YOU’RE OUT
ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELIN’ LONELY
AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I’LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED
IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ OH, OH, OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED
IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
MOM!
[ GASPS ]
WHAT? GOD. HI.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE UP!
IT’S 7:10!
WHAT?
IT’S 7:10!
IT’S A QUARTER TO 6:00.
STOP IT.
YES, IT IS.
NO, IT’S NOT!
I SET THE CLOCK
FOR A QUARTER TO 6:00,
SO IT’S —
IT’S 7:10!
ON MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
I CAN’T BE LATE
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
TO PEOPLE
ON THEIR FIRST DAY?
WHEN THEY’RE LATE
IT’S SHORTER?
THEY’RE LABELED
“THE LATE GIRL.”
OHH! SO DRAMATIC.
WHERE’S THE BATHROOM?
WE HAVE TO GO!
WHAT IF THERE’S TRAFFIC?!
MOM!
I HAD THIS ALL PLANNED.
I WAS GONNA GET UP EARLY.
I WAS GONNA GET COFFEE.
I WAS GONNA TAKE A SHOWER.
I WAS GONNA PICK UP MY CLOTHES
FROM THE DRY CLEANERS.
[ SIGHS ]
OH, MY GOD.
MY CLOTHES.
WHAT?!
ANY CLEAN CLOTHES.
I-I DON’T HAVE
ALL MY NICE THINGS
WERE DIRTY.
IT’S 7:15.
IT’S 7:16.
I WAS GONNA WEAR MY BLUE SUIT
WITH THE FLIPPY SKIRT.
IN THE FLIPPY SKIRT.
I LOOK SO GREAT
IT’S 7:17.
YOU KNOW WHAT, TIME LADY?
WHY DON’T YOU GO DOWNSTAIRS
AND WARM UP THE CAR?
THAT WOULD BE REALLY SUPER.
THANK YOU.
JUST HURRY!
THIS SUCKS!
THIS SUCKS!
IT’S 7:18.
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!
THIS IS THE LAST TIME
[ SIGHS ]
JUST BECAUSE IT’S FURRY.
I BUY ANYTHING
IT’S 7–
OF FINISHING THAT SENTENCE.
DON’T EVEN THINK
[ SIGHS ]
WHAT?!
NOTHING. I JUST DIDN’T KNOW
THE RODEO WAS IN TOWN.
ALL RIGHT, THAT’S IT.
THE BABY PICTURES.
I’M BRINGING
NO! I’M SORRY.
I LOVE THE RODEO.
THE RODEO RULES.
♪ I DON’T TO KNOW HOW ♪
♪ TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOU ♪
♪ I’M NOT GOOD AT THINGS ♪
♪ THAT I DON’T WANT TO DO ♪
♪ SHOULD I PRETEND
THAT I DON’T CARE ♪
♪ THAT YOU DON’T FEEL
WHAT I FEEL IS THERE ♪
♪ I DON’T KNOW HOW ♪
♪ TO SAY GOODBYE ♪
♪ I DON’T KNOW HOW ♪
♪ TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOU ♪
♪ [ VOCALIZING ] ♪
IT BEING SMALLER.
I REMEMBER
YEAH. AND LESS…
…OFF WITH THEIR HEADS.
YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
I’M JUST TRYING TO SEE
IF THERE’S A HUNCHBACK
UP IN THAT BELL TOWER.
SO, HOW DO I LOOK?
[ SIGHS ]
YOU LOOK GREAT.
REALLY?
YOU ARE AN AMAZING KID.
YOU HAVE EARNED THIS.
YOU JUST GO IN THERE
WHAT SMART REALLY IS.
AND SHOW THEM
I LOVE YOU.
CALL ME IF YOU NEED ME.
YOU’RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
NO!
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
CALL ME
AT MAKING UP DIRTY CHEERS.
I’M GREAT
YOU HAVE TO GO IN WITH ME.
RORY, COME ON.
YOU HAVE TO MEET
THE HEADMASTER.
WELL, LOOK AT ME.
WHO DOES ANYTHING IN THERE.
I CAN’T MEET ANYBODY
FROM “THE DUKES OF HAZZARD.”
I LOOK LIKE THAT CHICK
THIS IS MY FIRST DAY.
OF GOING IN THERE WITH ME.
YOU ARE NOT GETTING OUT
GOOD MORNING.
OH, WELL, WE’RE GONNA BE
BEST FRIENDS.
SO, WHERE DO WE GO?
UH, THE AMBROISE BUILDING.
WHICH IS…
THE BIG, SCARY ONE.
THANKS FOR THE INPUT.
OH, GREAT.
OH. YEAH.
LOST?
THE HEADMASTER’S OFFICE,
WE’RE LOOKING FOR
THE AMBROISE BUILDING?
AH. OKAY.
WELL, THIS IS IT
RIGHT HERE.
DOWN THE STAIRS,
MAKE A LEFT,
AND THE HEADMASTER’S OFFICE
IS AT THE END OF THE HALL.
GREAT. THANK YOU.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
I’M IAN JACK.
GOES TO SCHOOL HERE.
MY DAUGHTER JULIA
HI. I’M LORELAI GILMORE.
THIS IS MY DAUGHTER,
RORY.
YOUR DAUGHTER? REALLY?
WOW, THAT’S GREAT.
UH…
I MEAN, DAUGHTERS
ARE A GREAT THING.
WE’RE BIG FANS.
[ Laughing ] YEAH.
SO, IS YOUR HUSBAND HERE?
I’D LOVE TO MEET HIM.
I’M NOT MARRIED.
YOUR WIFE, THOUGH.
I’D LOVE TO MEET
I’M DIVORCED.
SHAME.
EXCUSE ME.
I REALLY GOT TO —
RIGHT. WE GOTTA GO MEET
THE BIG GUY.
AND I GOTTA GET BACK
TO WORK.
WHERE DO YOU WORK?
THE INDEPENDENCE INN.
AT AN INN.
I RUN IT.
REALLY?
IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT,
OF COURSE.
IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU,
LORELAI.
GOOD LUCK IN SCHOOL, RORY.
TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU.
I’LL TELL JULIA
GREAT. THANKS.
SEE YOU.
WHAT A NICE, NICE MAN.
YOU’RE FEELING PRETTY GOOD
ABOUT YOURSELF RIGHT NOW,
AREN’T YOU?
YEAH.
TO GET YOU A MIRROR?
DO YOU WANT ME
I’M BACK.
LET’S GO.
OH, GOOD. MORE BIG STUFF.
[ Sarcastically ]
TURN LEFT.
OH.
YOU READY?
NO.
YOU READY?
YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
UM…EXCUSE ME.
OH! HOW — WOW.
HI.
I-I’M LORELAI GILMORE.
THIS IS MY DAUGHTER,
LORELAI GILMORE.
I NAMED HER AFTER ME.
ALL WHACKED OUT ON DEMEROL.
I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL
NEVER MIND.
B-B-BUT WE CALL HER “RORY.”
IT’S SHORT FOR LORELAI.
SHE’LL ANSWER TO EITHER ONE
OR EVEN “HEY, YOU,”
IS THE HEADMASTER HERE?
DEPENDING ON THE —
ONE MOMENT.
See, that’s what happens
when you go to bed
with your makeup on.
[ SIGHS ]
HEADMASTER CHARLESTON
WILL SEE YOU NOW.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
GREAT.
GREAT. THANKS.
I’M HEADMASTER CHARLESTON.
MS. GILMORE,
IT’S REALLY NICE TO MEET —
HI. WOW.
MOM.
UM, EX–
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MY GRANDDAUGHTER LUCK
I CAME TO WISH
ON HER FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.
RORY, YOU LOOK WONDERFUL
IN THAT UNIFORM!
ALL THE WAY OUT HERE, MOM.
YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO COME
TO MAKE SURE THAT HANLIN HERE
THIS GAVE ME A CHANCE
TAKES GOOD CARE OF RORY.
YOU’RE HANLIN.
HANLIN CHARLESTON.
HANLIN’S WIFE AND I
ARE ON THE SYMPHONY FUNDRAISING
COMMITTEE TOGETHER.
WOW. THAT’S GREAT.
YOUR FATHER AND I
ARE GOLF RIVALS.
WE’RE STILL FIGHTING IT OUT
TO SEE WHICH ONE IS WORSE.
WE’RE ALL OLD FRIENDS.
OH, YES.
WELL, THERE’S NOTHING
LIKE FRIENDS…
ESPECIALLY IF THEY’RE OLD.
ONES.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE OFF
YOUR COAT AND HAVE A SEAT?
NO, I’M FINE.
THEY WERE A LITTLE OVERZEALOUS
I’M AFRAID
WITH THE FURNACE THIS MORNING.
IT’S QUITE WARM IN HERE.
I LIKE IT WARM.
LORELAI, TAKE OFF YOUR COAT
AND SIT DOWN.
YOU DON’T WANT HANLIN
TO THINK YOU’RE RUDE.
[ EXHALES ]
LAUNDRY DAY.
HANLIN, DID YOU KNOW
A 4.0 GRADE AVERAGE?
THAT RORY HAS
I’M SURE HE DOES, MOM.
THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL GIRL.
YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER.
WE’LL DO OUR BEST, EMILY.
RORY’S NOT GONNA BE
A PROBLEM.
SHE’S TOTALLY LOW-MAINTENANCE.
YOU KNOW, LIKE A HONDA.
THEY’RE JUST EASY, JUST…
[ Laughing ] YOU KNOW.
NICE OFFICE.
WELL, I DON’T THINK
WE SHOULD TAKE UP ANY MORE
OF YOUR PRECIOUS TIME.
IT WAS LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
GIVE BITTY OUR LOVE.
TELL RICHARD I’LL SEE HIM
AT THE CLUB SUNDAY.
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY, RORY.
I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT.
OR IS YOUR HORSE PARKED OUTSIDE?
DO YOU NEED A RIDE
IT’S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
Lorelai:
Have a great day.
TO FORGET YOUR COAT.
OH, YOU DON’T WANT
WOULD BE EMBARRASSING.
OH. NO…’CAUSE THAT
HOW DO YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE
LOOKING LIKE THAT?
WHAT KIND OF AN IMPRESSION
YOU WERE GONNA MAKE?
DID YOU THINK
[ SIGHS ] WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE, MOTHER?
I TOLD YOU, I CAME TO PUT
IN A GOOD WORD FOR RORY.
SHE DIDN’T NEED
A GOOD WORD.
I’M NOT ALLOWED HERE,
IS THAT IT?
I DIDN’T SAY THAT.
I’M ALLOWED TO PAY FOR IT,
BUT I CAN’T ACTUALLY SET FOOT
ON THE PREMISES.
THE RULES STRAIGHT.
I JUST WANT TO GET
CAN I DRIVE DOWN THE STREET?
HOW ABOUT THE STREET?
FORGET IT.
THIS NEIGHBORHOOD ALTOGETHER.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST AVOID
IS RIGHT DOWN THE BLOCK.
ALTHOUGH MY DOCTOR
PERMISSION IF I’M BLEEDING
MAYBE I CAN GET SPECIAL
FROM THE HEAD.
I’M SORRY.
I WAS JUST SURPRISED
TO SEE YOU HERE.
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS IMPORTANT
THEY HAD A GILMORE AMONGST THEM.
FOR THIS SCHOOL TO KNOW
A VERY GOOD THOUGHT.
AND THAT SOME OF THE GILMORES
ACTUALLY OWN CLOTHING.
I HAVE TO GET TO WORK.
AND ON THAT NOTE,
I’LL SEE YOU LATER.
DINNER, FRIDAY NIGHT.
NO SPURS, PLEASE.
UHHH!
A BRIGHT GIRL, MISS GILMORE.
YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY
THANK YOU.
TEACHERS LIKE YOU.
GOOD GRADES.
OF SOCIAL ACTIVITIES, THOUGH.
NOT A LOT
OH, WELL, JUST LIVING
AT STARS HOLLOW
IS KIND OF A SOCIAL ACTIVITY,
ACTUALLY.
NOTHING IN YOUR SCHOOL
APPEALED TO YOU?
I WORK AT MY MOTHER’S INN
AFTER SCHOOL SOMETIMES.
AND I WAS IN THE GERMAN CLUB
FOR A WHILE,
ONLY THREE OF US.
BUT THERE WERE
AND THEN TWO LEFT
FOR FRENCH CLUB
AFTER SEEING “SCHINDLER’S LIST.”
WHAT ARE YOUR ASPIRATIONS?
I WANT TO GO TO HARVARD
AND POLITICAL SCIENCE.
TO STUDY JOURNALISM
ON YOUR WAY TO BEING…
CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR.
REALLY?
YES.
NOT COKIE ROBERTS?
NO.
NOT OPRAH, ROSIE,
OR ONE OF THE WOMEN
FROM “THE VIEW”?
NO.
WHY DO YOU WISH TO BE
CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR?
I DON’T WISH TO BE HER,
EXACTLY.
I JUST WANT TO DO
WHAT SHE DOES.
WHICH IS?
TRAVEL, SEE THE WORLD
UP CLOSE,
WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON,
REPORT ON
BE A PART OF SOMETHING BIG.
OF SOMETHING BIG
AND TO BE PART
YOU HAVE TO BE ON TV?
WHY NOT LEAD THE POLICE
ON A HIGH-SPEED CHASE?
THAT’S A QUICKER WAY
TO ACHIEVE THIS GOAL.
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
BEING ON TV
MAYBE I’LL BE A JOURNALIST
AND WRITE BOOKS OR ARTICLES
ABOUT WHAT I SEE.
THAT I SEE…SOMETHING.
I JUST WANT TO BE SURE
THE DEBATING TEAM’S
YOU’LL NOTICE
FROM MY RéSUMé.
ALSO MISSING
I’VE KNOWN YOUR GRANDPARENTS
FOR QUITE SOME TIME.
I KNOW.
AT THEIR HOUSE JUST LAST WEEK
IN FACT, I WAS AT A PARTY
WHERE I HAD THE MOST DELICIOUS
LOBSTER PUFFS I’VE EVER EATEN.
I’M VERY FOND OF THEM.
THAT’S NICE.
NONE OF THIS, HOWEVER, WILL BE
OF ANY BENEFIT TO YOU.
CHILTON HAS ONE OF THE HIGHEST
ACADEMIC STANDARDS
OF ANY SCHOOL IN AMERICA.
YOU MAY HAVE BEEN THE SMARTEST
GIRL AT STARS HOLLOW,
IS A DIFFERENT PLACE.
BUT THIS
THE PRESSURES ARE GREATER,
THE RULES ARE STRICTER,
AND THE EXPECTATIONS
ARE HIGHER.
IF YOU MAKE IT THROUGH,
YOU WILL HAVE RECEIVED
ONE OF THE FINEST EDUCATIONS
ONE CAN GET,
AND THERE SHOULD BE NO REASON
WHY YOU SHOULD NOT ACHIEVE
ALL YOUR GOALS.
YOU ARE STARTING LATE
HOWEVER, SINCE
AND ARE NOT USED TO THIS HIGHLY
COMPETITIVE ATMOSPHERE,
THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE
YOU WILL FAIL.
THAT IS FINE.
FAILURE’S A PART OF LIFE…
BUT NOT A PART OF CHILTON.
UNDERSTAND?
THE LOBSTER PUFFS, HUH?
SO YOU LIKED
TAKE THIS TO MISS JAMES
IN THE ADMINISTRATION OFFICE
ACROSS THE HALL.
HI. I’M LOOKING
FOR MISS JAMES.
NAME?
LORELAI GILMORE.
BUT I GO BY “RORY.”
FILL THIS OUT, PLEASE.
SHUT UP.
WELL?
HURRY, PLEASE.
SPIDERS.
“LORELAI GILMORE.”
NICE STRIPPER NAME.
“FORMERLY OF STARS HOLLOW
HIGH SCHOOL.”
WHERE’S THAT?
MAKE A LEFT AT THE HAYSTACKS
AND FOLLOW THE COWS.
OOH, A DIXIE CHICK.
4.0 GRADE POINT AVERAGE.”
“PERFECT ATTENDANCE.
SHE’S A JOURNALISM MAJOR.
BUGS, DIRT, TWIGS.
THAT MEANS SHE’S GONNA GO OUT
FOR THE SCHOOL PAPER.
NOT NECESSARILY.
RECOMMENDATIONS IN HERE.
SHE’S GOT A THOUSAND
POPULAR WITH THE ADULTS
FOR THE SCHOOL PAPER?
AND GOING OUT
YOU DON’T KNOW SHE’S GOING OUT
FOR THE PAPER.
SHE’LL NEVER CATCH UP.
SHE’S A MONTH BEHIND ALREADY.
YOU CAN TUTOR HER.
BE LIKE A BIG SISTER.
YOU’RE FUNNY.
OKAY, LIZARD, GOODBYE.
ALL THESE EXTRA PEOPLE IN?
WHY ARE THEY LETTING
THEY JUST TAKE UP SPACE
AND SCREW UP THE CURVE.
ANY NEW KIDS HERE.
WE DON’T NEED
TOO LATE.
Psst.
James: HERE’S THE DINING ROOM,
THE SCIENCE ROOM.
HERE’S YOUR LOCKER NUMBER,
HERE’S YOUR SCHEDULE.
HERE’S THE RULES OF THE SCHOOL
AND THE CHILTON HONOR CODE.
TO THE SCHOOL SONG,
HERE ARE THE WORDS
WHICH MUST BE RECITED
UPON DEMAND.
THIS CAN HAPPEN ANYPLACE,
ANYTIME.
IF YOU DO IT IN LATIN,
YOU GET EXTRA CREDIT.
DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?
UH, NOT AT THE MOMENT.
IF YOU DO, YOU CAN MAKE
AN APPOINTMENT
TO SEE YOUR GUIDANCE COUNSELOR,
MR. WINTERS.
BUT BULIMIA AND PREGNANCY.
HE HANDLES EVERYTHING
TO THE NURSE OR COACH RUBENS.
FOR THAT, YOU HAVE TO GO
WELCOME TO CHILTON.
[ SIGHS ]
I ALREADY HAD THE LONGEST DAY
OF MY LIFE, AND IT’S ONLY 10:00.
THERE’S NO COFFEE.
THAT’S NOT FUNNY.
I CAN GIVE YOU HERBAL TEA.
AN HERBAL TEA MORNING.
THIS IS NOT
THIS IS A COFFEE MORNING.
EVERY MORNING FOR YOU
IS A COFFEE MORNING.
THIS IS A JUMBO COFFEE MORNING.
I NEED COFFEE IN AN I.V.
I CAN GIVE YOU TEA
AND A BALANCE BAR.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE
TELL ME YOU’RE KIDDING.
I’M KIDDING.
YOU’RE SICK.
YEP.
YOU’RE A FIEND!
FOR HERE OR TO GO?
TO GO, PLEASE.
WHAT THIS STUFF DOES
YOU WANT TO KNOW
TO YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM?
BECAUSE I LOVE CHARTS.
DO YOU HAVE A CHART?
FORGET IT.
KILL YOURSELF.
WHAT HAPPENED THIS MORNING
THAT WAS SO AWFUL?
RORY STARTED CHILTON.
REALLY?
YEAH.
WHAT?
TO TAKE RORY TO CHILTON?
THAT’S HOW YOU DRESSED
THAT’S A FANCY SCHOOL.
MY CLOTHES WERE
AT THE CLEANERS.
AND IT DIDN’T PURR ON TIME.
I HAD THE FUZZY CLOCK,
IT DIDN’T PURR?
IT’S FUZZY.
IT PURRS.
NEVER MIND.
I GOTTA GO.
I HAD A PLAN, DAMN IT.
YOU’RE GETTING TEA.
ME TOO. NEXT TIME
VISUALIZE, LADIES.
IT’S A THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE.
YOU’RE STANDING ON 5th AVENUE.
MARCHING IN PLACE BEHIND YOU,
THERE’S 100 BEAUTIFUL BOYS
AND THERE YOU ARE.
YOU ARE OUT IN FRONT
WITH YOUR FABULOUS LEGS
AND YOUR PERFECT TUSH.
AND THE CROWD GOES NUTS!
YOUR BATON IS ON FIRE
OKAY. COOKIE TIME.
LORELAI, HI.
HEY, PATTY.
ISN’T TODAY RORY’S FIRST DAY
AT CHILTON?
OH, YEAH, SHE’S THERE NOW.
I JUST GOT THROUGH
DROPPING HER OFF.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WORE?
OH, LOOK AT THE TIME.
SEE YOU, PATTY.
BYE.
OOH!
LADIES, WHAT DO I SEE?
NAKED GIRLS.
KEEP THOSE LEOTARDS ON.
NO, NO,
THIS IS NOT BRAZIL.
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
HELLO?
Lorelai?
MOM?
I’M GOING SHOPPING
THIS AFTERNOON,
AND I THOUGHT I’D PICK UP
A FEW THINGS FOR RORY.
Like what?
A COUPLE OF EXTRA SKIRTS
AND TOPS FOR SCHOOL.
OKAY. I ALREADY TOOK CARE
OF THAT, MOM.
I GOT HER TWO SKIRTS
AND A BUNCH OF TOPS.
BUT THERE ARE FIVE DAYS
IN A SCHOOL WEEK.
REALLY? ARE YOU SURE? BECAUSE
MY “DAYS OF THE WEEK” UNDERWEAR
ONLY GO TO THURSDAY.
IS THAT A JOKE?
TWO SKIRTS ARE FINE.
DON’T BOTHER.
she gets one dirty?
What if
WELL, THEN, SHE’LL WEAR
THE OTHER ONE.
WHAT IF SHE GETS THEM BOTH
DIRTY?
WE’LL USE THIS NEWFANGLED THING
CALLED A WASHING MACHINE.
THE TOWN JUST CHIPPED IN
AND BOUGHT ONE.
My turn’s Tuesday.
WHAT ABOUT SOCKS?
THESE SPECIAL LOGO SOCKS.
CHILTON HAS
RORY SHOULD HAVE THEM.
Mom, please.
THE SCHOOL SWEATER?
SHE MIGHT LIKE THAT.
AND WHAT ABOUT
AND THERE’S A SWEATER VEST
AND THE BOOK BAG.
ARE YOU GETTING A CUT
OF THE MERCHANDISING?
RORY SHOULD HAVE THESE THINGS.
SHE’LL BE THE ONLY ONE
WHO DOESN’T.
SHE’LL LIVE.
I’M AT LEAST GETTING HER
THE CHILTON COAT.
IS SHE A SIZE 6?
Mom, please.
THIS IS A SIMPLE QUESTION,
LORELAI.
SHE’S A 6, BUT I’D GET AN 8
IN CASE SHE GROWS.
If she grows,
I’LL BUY ANOTHER.
OKAY. WELL, THEN,
A 6 IS GREAT.
I GOTTA GO, MOM. BYE.
AND WHILE FRENCH CULTURE
OUTSIDE CULTURAL INFLUENCE,
WAS THE DOMINANT
FOR RUSSIA’S MONEYED CLASS,
ESPECIALLY
ALSO HAD ITS IMPACT.
ENGLISH CULTURE
TOLSTOY’S FAVORITE AUTHOR,
FOR INSTANCE, WAS…
DICKENS.
YES. AND LAST WEEK,
MAIN AUTHORIAL INFLUENCES.
WE COVERED DOSTOEVSKI’S
GEORGE SAND AND BALZAC.
AS TOLSTOY COMMENCED WRITING
GOOD.
BOTH “WAR AND PEACE”
AND “ANNA KARENINA,”
COUNT LEO WOULD TURN TO…
“DAVID COPPERFIELD.”
CORRECT. HE WOULD TURN
TO “DAVID COPPERFIELD”
FOR INSPIRATION.
AH, MR. DUGRAY.
SIR.
NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK.
I HOPE YOUR GRANDFATHER’S
BETTER.
MUCH BETTER, SIR.
GOOD. TAKE YOUR SEAT,
PLEASE.
“A TALE OF TWO CITIES,”
“GREAT EXPECTATIONS,”
“LITTLE DORRIT” —
ALL MAJOR INFLUENCES
ON LEO TOLSTOY.
Who’s that?
New girl.
MASTERS, TOLSTOY AND DICKENS.
…OF THESE TWO LITERARY
CLASS DISMISSED.
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES
A MARY.
MISS, UH, GILMORE, COULD YOU
COME UP HERE PLEASE?
LAST WEEK’S STUDY MATERIALS.
THESE ARE
THERE’LL BE A TEST ON THEM
TOMORROW,
BUT SINCE YOU’RE NEW,
YOU CAN TAKE A MAKEUP
ON MONDAY.
SUFFICIENT TIME?
WILL THAT BE
SURE, THAT’S FINE.
MONDAY?
THAT’S JUST AN OVERVIEW.
IT WILL BE VERY HELPFUL
TO YOU
TO BORROW ONE OF THE OTHER
STUDENT’S PERSONAL NOTES.
TO BE MORE DETAILED.
THEY TEND
MORE DETAILED THAN THIS?
IT SEEMS DAUNTING
RIGHT NOW, I KNOW.
NO, NO. IT’S OKAY.
IT’LL BE FINE.
REMEMBER TO GET THOSE NOTES.
THEY’LL BE A LIFESAVER.
OH.
I’M PARIS.
I DIDN’T SEE YOU THERE.
WHERE’D YOU COME FROM?
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, TOO.
FROM STARS HOLLOW.
LORELAI GILMORE
YOU CAN CALL ME RORY.
FOR “THE FRANKLIN”?
ARE YOU GOING OUT
THE WHAT?
NICE INNOCENT ACT.
AT LEAST I KNOW YOU’RE NOT
GOING OUT FOR DRAMA CLUB.
THE SCHOOL PAPER —
“THE FRANKLIN” —
ARE YOU GOING OUT FOR IT?
MY LOCKER FIRST.
I HAVE TO FIND
I’M GONNA BE EDITOR
NEXT YEAR.
WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.
THE TOP OF THE CLASS,
I’M ALSO
AND I INTEND TO BE VALEDICTORIAN
WHEN I GRADUATE.
OKAY. I’M GOING NOW.
YOU’LL NEVER CATCH UP.
YOU’LL NEVER BEAT ME.
AND “THE FRANKLIN” IS MY DOMAIN.
THIS SCHOOL IS MY DOMAIN,
EVER FORGET THAT.
AND DON’T YOU
I GUESS YOU’RE NOT GONNA LET ME
BORROW YOUR NOTES, HUH?
THAN THE LAST BATCH.
THEY’RE SMALLER
NO, THEY’RE NOT.
SMALLER MEANS WATERY.
NO GOOD PEACH TASTE.
NO, THERE’S PLENTY
OF PEACH TASTE
BEING AS THEY’RE,
YOU KNOW, PEACHES.
WHAT ABOUT THE ONES
ON THE BOTTOM?
BE SURE TO CHECK THEM ALL.
OH, GREAT.
THAT’S IT.
GIVE EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM
A NICE GOOD SQUEEZE.
TO ACTUALLY LEAVE ME ONE
YOU WOULDN’T WANT
THAT I COULD SELL
TO SOMEBODY ELSE.
YOU MISSED ONE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I’M NOT GONNA TELL YOU
WHICH ONE IT IS.
I’M JUST GONNA LET YOUR
IMPECCABLY GOOD RADAR —
THERE IT IS!
YOU GOT IT!
OKAY.
I LOOK GREAT, RIGHT?
YES.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK.
THIS IS HOW
GOOD MORNING, JACKSON.
TODAY WAS RORY’S FIRST DAY.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK FABULOUS
ALL NIGHT PLAYING QUARTERS.
AND NOT LIKE I’D BEEN UP
NOBODY CARES HOW
EVERYBODY CARED.
YOU LOOKED.
WHO?
THE OTHER MOMS,
MY MOM, LUKE, MISS PATTY,
THE HEADMASTER,
WITH THE TINY HEAD.
THE NEW FIRE CHIEF
TASTE THIS.
A LITTLE WATERY.
OH! NOW, YOU PLANNED THIS.
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING
ABOUT YOUR MOTHER?
INTO THE HEADMASTER’S OFFICE,
I WALKED
AND THERE SHE WAS.
REALLY? WHY?
SHE KNEW I’D WAKE UP LATE
AND HUMILIATE MYSELF.
WOW, SHE’S GOOD.
SHE’S THE BEST.
OH, I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW
WHAT YOU’RE DOING.
DIFFERENTLY, TOO.
THEY’RE ROLLING
BECAUSE OF THE EXTRA WATER.
EXACTLY.
MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
I WOULD IGNORE THOSE WOMEN,
BECAUSE THE ONLY THING
THAT MATTERS
TO THAT GREAT SCHOOL.
IS THAT RORY GOT IN
SHE LOOKED SO AMAZING
IN HER UNIFORM.
SHE WAS SO EXCITED.
I JUST ADMIRE HER SO MUCH,
JUMPING INTO A NEW SCHOOL.
SHE’S MY HERO.
MINE TOO.
SIGN ME UP.
OH, YEAH,
SOOKIE, THE PEACHES,
PLEASE.
[ French accent ]
EXCUSE ME.
THERE’S A PHONE CALL FOR YOU.
IF I’M TO FETCH YOU LIKE A DOG,
I’D LIKE A COOKIE AND A RAISE.
THANKS FOR THE PEACH.
ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.
THIS WILL BE
THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE
DARLING SHOPS
ALL UP AND DOWN THIS STREET.
OH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE WE CAN
FIND THE BEST ANTIQUES?
AT YOUR HOUSE, I’D GUESS.
MOM, DID I GIVE YOU
THIS NUMBER?
BECAUSE I DON’T REMEMBER
GIVING YOU THIS NUMBER.
YEAH, WELL, I MUST BE
LOSING MY MIND.
WHAT CAN I, UH…
I’M SORRY, MOM.
CAN YOU HOLD ON ONE SECOND?
UM, DRELLA…
COULD YOU JUST TAKE IT DOWN
JUST A NOTCH?
OKAY, I’M BACK.
THANKS.
I WANTED YOU TO KNOW
THAT I JUST BOUGHT A PARKING
SPACE FOR RORY AT CHILTON.
YOU WHAT?
THEY ARE VERY HARD TO COME BY,
BUT I PULLED A FEW STRINGS
AND IT’S ALL HERS.
MOM, RORY DOESN’T HAVE A CAR.
A BIRTHDAY COMING UP SOON.
NO, BUT SHE’S GOT
[ DRELLA PLAYING LOUDLY ]
OKAY, HOLD ON A SECOND.
UM, DRELLA. DRELLA!
PLEASE! A LITTLE SOFTER.
PANASONIC STAMPED ON MY ASS?
HEY, DO I LOOK LIKE I GOT
MOM, YOU ARE NOT BUYING
RORY A CAR.
WHY NOT? SHE’S A SMART GIRL.
SHE’S RESPONSIBLE.
She doesn’t need one.
SHE NEEDS TO HAVE A WAY
TO GET AROUND,
TO GET TO SCHOOL.
SHE’LL BE TAKING THE BUS.
I know. I hate that
she takes the bus.
DRUG DEALERS TAKE THE BUS.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?
I GOTTA GO.
FINE. WE’LL DISCUSS THIS
AT A LATER DATE.
OKAY. BYE.
[ PLAYS SOFTER ]
HEY, MARY.
HEY, MARY.
ME?
YEAH, YOU.
MY NAME IS RORY.
I’M TRISTIN.
HI.
SO, YOU NEW?
YEAH. FIRST DAY.
REMMY’S CLASS IS ROUGH.
YEAH, IT SEEMED VERY INTENSE.
I COULD LOAN YOU MY NOTES
IF THAT WOULD HELP.
REALLY? THAT’D BE GREAT.
YEAH? HOW GREAT?
I DON’T KNOW.
MR. REMMY SAID THAT GETTING
SOMEONE’S NOTES WOULD BE —
I COULD EVEN HELP YOU STUDY,
IF YOU WANT.
UM, I KIND OF VIEW STUDYING
AS A SOLITARY ACTIVITY.
BUT THANKS.
BYE, MARY.
IT’S RORY.
I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.
Lorelai:
THIS IS A BRAND-NEW CAR.
OH, DO YOU? BECAUSE
HE BRINGS THE CAR UP,
AND IT’S SCRATCHED!
I JUST BACKED THE CAR UP.
IF MY CAR WAS SCRATCHED
I’D KNOW
BEFORE I PARKED IT OR NOT!
LET’S CALM DOWN.
SIR, WHY DON’T I HAVE YOUR CAR
LOOKED AT TOMORROW?
I’M SURE WE CAN FIND A WAY
TO RESOLVE THIS.
IN THE MEANTIME,
TO HAVE LUNCH HERE, ON ME.
I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU
DESSERT IS A MUST.
ANYTHING WITH OUR HOMEMADE
ICE CREAM IS DELICIOUS.
WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I THINK I WILL.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
I DIDN’T SCRATCH HIS CAR.
LORELAI, I SWEAR —
DEREK —
IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS UNRELIABLE
OR A BAD DRIVER —
IT’S OKAY.
‘CAUSE I CAN DRIVE.
I AM SURE YOU CAN.
OH, SWEETIE,
OVER TO MUSKY’S TOMORROW
WE’LL JUST TAKE IT
AND HAVE THE GUYS LOOK AT IT.
I’M SURE THEY CAN BUFF IT OUT
FOR NOTHING, OKAY?
OKAY.
THAT’S A REAL NICE OUTFIT
YOU’RE WEARING TODAY.
THANK YOU, DEREK.
YOUR FAITHFUL POOCH
IS HERE TO SAY,
TO TALK WITH YOU.”
“SOMEONE NEEDS
IT’S NOT MY MOTHER,
IS IT?
IT’S POSSIBLE.
IT’S POSSIBLE?
THERE’S A RESEMBLANCE.
HI.
HI. IS THIS A BAD TIME?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
NO, NOT AT ALL.
AN ASSOCIATE FOR LUNCH,
WELL, I HAD TO MEET
AND HE WAS COMING UP
FROM NEW YORK,
SO I THOUGHT, “WHY NOT MEET HIM
IN A BEAUTIFUL INN?”
GOOD. ENJOY YOUR LUNCH.
THANKS. I WILL.
I WAS ALSO WONDERING
IF MAYBE I COULD TAKE YOU
OUT TO DINNER SOMETIME.
WE’RE A LITTLE FOOD-OBSESSED,
AREN’T WE?
IT’S THE COMPANY MORE THAN
THE FOOD THAT INTERESTS ME.
I’M FLATTERED.
IS THAT A YES?
THAT’S A…YOU’RE A DAD.
AND YOU’RE A MOM.
ALTHOUGH, I’M STILL FINDING THAT
REALLY HARD TO BELIEVE.
YOU’RE A CHILTON DAD.
NO, I MEAN,
OOH, THAT SOUNDS BAD.
NOT BAD, JUST TRICKY.
RORY JUST STARTED THERE,
YOU KNOW,
AND I THINK I SHOULD LET HER
FALL IN WITH THE BAD CROWD
BEFORE I START HOOKING UP
WITH THE P.T.A.
WELL, I’M NOT ON THE P.T.A.
SEE? THERE YOU GO.
I CAN’T DATE ANYBODY
NOT ON THE P.T.A.
IT’S JUST A CASUAL DINNER.
SORRY.
I’LL TELL YOU WHAT —
OKAY.
I’M GOING TO CHINA FOR A WEEK
ON BUSINESS.
I’M GONNA TRY AGAIN.
WHEN I GET BACK,
CHINA. WOW.
IMPRESSED?
NO. ROME, I’D BE IMPRESSED.
CHINA, I’M JUST,
“CHINA. WOW.”
OKAY.
LORELAI GILMORE,
GENERAL MANAGER,
I’LL TALK TO YOU SOON.
HAVE A SAFE TRIP.
I WILL.
HE DOES THAT SO WELL.
YOU ARE MAKING ME SICK.
I’LL WATCH YOU WALK AWAY, TOO.
AW, NOW, HONEY, YOU TRY IT.
STOP IT.
IT CAN’T BE THAT BAD.
GO ON NOW, WALK.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
WITH A LITTLE MORE ATTITUDE.
NO. YOU HAVE TO DO IT
MAKE ME THINK YOU MEAN IT!
[ PLAYING MUSIC ]
THAT’S LUNCH.
BUT YOU’RE GOING TO OPEN.
I’M SORRY,
I AM SO SORRY.
OH, NO.
PARIS, PLEASE.
I AM SO SORRY.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
IT JUST SLIPPED.
MY LOCKER —
I PULLED TOO HARD.
I DIDN’T MEAN TO —
IS THERE WATER
IN THAT MOAT?
GET AWAY FROM ME.
I NEED MRS. NESS, HISTORY?
EXCUSE ME,
IT’S BEHIND YOU.
OF COURSE IT IS.
TO BE KIDDING ME.
OH, YOU’VE GOT
SEATS NOW, PLEASE.
HEY, MARY.
OKAY.
ON FRIDAY WITH MR. GAYNOR.
WE LEFT OUR PROJECTS OFF
SO TODAY WE WILL PICK UP
WITH MISS GELLER.
I DON’T HAVE MY PROJECT.
MISS GELLER…
DID YOU HAVE SUFFICIENT TIME
TO COMPLETE YOUR PROJECT?
YES.
AND YET YOU DON’T HAVE IT DONE?
NO.
YOU WILL RECEIVE AN INCOMPLETE.
IT’S MY FAULT.
WHO ARE YOU?
RORY GILMORE. I WRECKED
HER PROJECT.
SHUT UP.
I DON’T HAVE A RORY GILMORE.
I HAVE A LORELAI GILMORE.
THAT’S ME.
AND LORELAI GILMORE?
YOU ARE RORY
YES, AND I WRECKED HER PROJECT.
MY LOCKER GOT STUCK.
JUST STAY OUT OF THIS.
DO YOU GO BY RORY OR LORELAI?
IT’S NOT HER FAULT.
WHATEVER.
I NEED YOU TO PICK ONE.
ONE WHAT?
ONE NAME.
RORY.
FINE. THANK YOU.
PARIS’ PROJECT WHEN?
RORY, YOU WRECKED
JUST BEFORE CLASS.
VERY CONVENIENT.
MY LOCKER GOT STUCK —
NO, I DID.
STOP IT!
MISS GILMORE, SINCE YOU SAY YOU
WRECKED MISS GELLER’S PROJECT,
THEN YOU MAY HELP HER FIX IT.
YOU HAVE UNTIL TOMORROW.
FINE.
NO.
I DON’T WANT YOUR HELP!
BUT I DON’T MIND DOING IT.
JUST STAY OUT OF THIS.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
LADIES, ENOUGH.
WELL, DON’T.
MISS GELLER, IF YOU DON’T WANT
MISS GILMORE’S HELP,
THEN YOU MAY HAVE
UNTIL TOMORROW.
IF IT’S NOT DONE, YOU WILL
RECEIVE AN INCOMPLETE.
IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?
YES.
AS LONG AS YOU’RE STANDING —
CLASS, WE HAVE A NEW STUDENT.
SAY HELLO TO RORY GILMORE.
HI, RORY.
HELLO, MARY!
WALK SMOOTH.
THAT’S THE NEW HARRY POTTER
ON YOUR HEADS.
IF THEY SHOULD DROP,
HARRY WILL DIE,
AND THERE WON’T BE
ANY MORE BOOKS.
NOW, THAT’S HOW YOU SHOULD’VE
DRESSED THIS MORNING, MISSY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
SEE? NOW, THAT’S WHY
YOU WERE VOTED
OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM.
MR. PERSONALITY
WHERE’S YOUR CROWN?
USUALLY COME IN AT THIS TIME.
I JUST MEAN YOU DON’T
I HAVE TO PICK UP RORY
FROM SCHOOL.
THANK YOU.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
NO LECTURES?
MY BLOOD SUGAR’S LOW.
AND GET BACK TO YOU.
I’LL EAT AN APPLE
GOD, THIS HAS BEEN ONE HECTIC
BIZZARO DAY FOR ME.
YEAH?
YEAH, THIS MORNING
WITH THE BEING LATE,
WITH HER EXISTING.
AND MY MOTHER
THIS FATHER FROM CHILTON,
OH, AND THIS FATHER,
ALL THE WAY FROM HARTFORD
HE DROVE OUT TO THE INN
JUST TO ASK ME OUT.
REALLY? ARE YOU GOING?
NO. HE’S GOT A KID IN SCHOOL
WITH RORY.
THE WHOLE THING JUST SEEMED
A LITTLE WEIRD.
GOOD.
GOOD?
THAT YOU TURNED HIM DOWN.
YEAH, I THINK IT’S GOOD
OKAY.
I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY OLD,
RIGHT?
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
HE’S GOT A KID
SO DO I.
YEAH, BUT YOU WERE YOUNG
WHEN YOU HAD RORY.
MOST PEOPLE AREN’T THAT YOUNG.
MOST PEOPLE ARE…
OLD.
YEAH.
WHO ASKED ME OUT.
LIKE THIS GUY
BUT YOU’RE NOT GOING.
NO…I’M NOT GOING.
[ CELLULAR PHONE RINGS ]
OH, THAT’S ME.
HELLO?
HI, BABETTE.
WHAT? OKAY.
NO, NO, I’LL BE RIGHT THERE.
THANKS.
UM, I HAVE TO GO.
I GAVE YOU DECAF.
KEEP IT.
HEY.
I HAD TO CALL YOU LIKE THIS.
OH, LORELAI, I’M SO SORRY
THAT’S OKAY, BABETTE.
I APPRECIATE IT.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, THEY PULL UP,
GET OUT OF THE TRUCK,
AND START SNIFFING AROUND.
IT’S VERY STRANGE.
LET ME GO TALK TO THEM.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GNOME.
THEY KICKED A GNOME…
RIGHT IN THE HEAD.
WHAT?
THAT’S JUST NOT COOL.
IS THE GNOME OKAY?
I’M VERY SORRY.
HE’S FINE, SUGAR.
THANKS FOR ASKING.
BUT I WOULDN’T TRUST
THESE BOYS.
GNOME-KICKING SAYS A LOT
ABOUT A MAN’S CHARACTER.
YES. WELL, I’M GONNA GO
TAKE CARE OF THIS.
THANKS.
HEY!
UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU LIVE HERE?
A DSL FOR A LORELAI GILMORE.
I’M SUPPOSED TO INSTALL
IS THAT YOU?
YES, BUT —
I’M MICK.
COULD YOU GET OFF MY PORCH?
NICE TO MEET YOU.
YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE,
I WAS TOLD THAT
BUT TO LOOK FOR A CERAMIC FROG
WITH A KEY IN IT.
WE CAN’T FIND THE FROG.
I DIDN’T ORDER A DSL.
THE ORDER WAS PLACED BY
AN…EMILY GILMORE.
OH, NO!
WE WOULD’VE BEEN DONE BY NOW,
BUT THE FROG SEARCH
PUT US WAY BEHIND.
HEY, MICK, FOUND IT.
YOU FOUND THE FROG?
IT WASN’T A FROG.
IT WAS A TURTLE.
IT SAYS HERE IT’S A FROG.
TURTLE.
REALLY?
TRUST ME.
I’M GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL
THAT DSL ORDER.
IT’S ALREADY PAID FOR.
YOU SURE?
YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT WE DON’T NEED A DSL,
SO THANKS FOR COMING,
AND YOU GUYS CAN JUST GO.
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
OH, NOTHING SHAKESPEARE COULDN’T
TURN INTO A REALLY GOOD PLAY.
[ GROANS ]
LET’S TRY ANOTHER PASSAGE.
Ness:
WITH GREAT ADROITNESS,
THE ROMANISTS HAVE,
DRAWN THREE WALLS
AROUND THEMSELVES
WITH WHICH THEY HAVE HITHERTO
PROTECTED THEMSELVES,
COULD REFORM THEM,
SO THAT NO ONE
WHEREBY CHRISTENDOM
HAS FALLEN TERRIBLY.
WHO SAID THIS?
MARTIN LUTHER.
VERY GOOD, MISS GILMORE.
AND WHAT YEAR DID MARTIN LUTHER
ADDRESS THE CHRISTIAN NOBILITY?
1520.
VERY GOOD, MISS GILMORE.
UNTIL NEXT TIME, CLASS.
STAY OUT OF MY WAY.
I WILL MAKE THIS SCHOOL
A LIVING HELL FOR YOU.
SEE YOU TOMORROW, MARY.
THE NAME IS RORY.
CAN I HELP YOU?
GOD, I WISH.
WHAT ON EARTH?
YOU’RE NOT BUYING US
A DSL.
LORELAI, THIS IS HARDLY
THE PLACE.
AND IT’S NOT HAPPENING.
I CANCELED THE ORDER,
BUT RORY NEEDS THE INTERNET
FOR HER SCHOOL.
WE HAVE THE INTERNET.
THIS IS FASTER.
WE LIKE OUR INTERNET SLOW.
WE CAN TURN IT ON, WALK AROUND,
DANCE, MAKE A SANDWICH.
WITH DSL, THERE’S NO DANCING,
NO WALKING, AND WE’D STARVE.
IT’D BE ALL WORK AND NO PLAY.
HAVE YOU NOT SEEN “THE SHINING”?
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT ON EARTH
ALSO, THERE WILL BE NO CARS,
NO PARKING SPACES,
WILL BE SUPPLIED BY ME.
AND ALL THE UNIFORMS
THERE WILL BE NO DISCUSSION.
THAT’S FINAL.
YOU’RE BEING STUBBORN,
AS USUAL.
I’M NOT BEING STUBBORN!
I’M BEING ME!
THE SAME PERSON
WHO ALWAYS NEEDED TO WORK OUT
HER OWN PROBLEMS
AND TAKE CARE OF HERSELF,
BECAUSE THAT’S THE WAY
I WAS BORN!
THAT’S HOW I AM!
FLORENCE, I’M DRIPPING.
WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR RORY
I APPRECIATE
IN PAYING FOR THIS SCHOOL.
THAT WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.
YOU WON’T LET IT.
BUT SHE IS MY DAUGHTER.
AND I DECIDE HOW WE LIVE,
NOT YOU.
NOW, THEN…DO THEY VALIDATE
PARKING HERE?
THERE’S A STAMP AT THE DESK.
THANK YOU.
MM. HEY, YOU.
SO, THIS WHOLE PLAID-SKIRT
THING — MY IDEA?
MY DAY SUCKED, TOO.
PROMISE?
ON MY MOTHER’S LIFE.
I SWEAR
NOT YET.
STILL HUGGING.
[ SMOOCHES ]
SO, I BROUGHT US
SOME COFFEE.
WHY, I’M SHOCKED.
TRIPLE CAPS, EASY FOAM.
IF THAT DOESN’T WORK,
WE’LL STICK OUR FINGERS
IN A LIGHT SOCKET.
COME HERE.
UH! WOW.
TO GET SMART ALL IN ONE DAY?
WHAT, DO THEY EXPECT YOU
OH, THEY EXPECT
A LOT OF THINGS.
SO, TELL ME.
I DON’T KNOW.
IT WAS JUST ONE BIG, LONG,
SCARY, TWEEDY,
BAD EIGHT HOURS.
ADD SOME HAIR SPRAY
AND YOU GOT MY DAY.
ALREADY HATES ME,
ONE OF THE GIRLS
THE GUYS ARE WEIRD.
WEIRDER THAN OTHER GUYS?
CALLING ME “MARY.”
YEAH. THEY KEPT
YOU’RE KIDDING ME.
WOW. I CAN’T BELIEVE
THEY STILL SAY THAT.
WHY? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
LIKE VIRGIN MARY.
IT MEANS THEY THINK YOU LOOK
LIKE A GOODY-GOODY.
WHAT WOULD THEY
HAVE CALLED ME
I LOOKED LIKE A SLUT?
IF THEY THOUGHT
WELL, THEY MIGHT HAVE ADDED
A “MAGDALENE” TO IT.
THIS IS AN ADVANCED SCHOOL.
WOW. BIBLICAL INSULTS.
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
IT WAS SO WEIRD NOT HAVING YOU
IN SCHOOL TODAY.
I MEAN, I FINALLY NOTICED
SOME OF THE OTHER KIDS.
THEY ARE A SAD LOT.
LET ME JUST SAY,
ADD A COUPLE PLAID SKIRTS
THE CHILTON FREAKS.
AND YOU’VE GOT
I TOTALLY MISS YOU.
I MISS YOU.
I HAVE AN IDEA.
WHAT ABOUT ON TUESDAYS
AND THURSDAYS,
WHEN I GO INTO HARTFORD
FOR MY BUSINESS CLASS,
WHAT IF LANE COMES ALONG,
AND YOU GUYS CAN SHOP
AND STUDY,
AND SHAVE YOUR HEADS?
AND JOIN A CULT,
REALLY?
ALL EXCEPT THE “SHAVING
YOUR HEADS” PART.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
OH, NO.
6:30.
I’M LATE FOR DINNER.
AGAIN? LANE, YOUR MOTHER
IS GONNA KILL ME
IF I KEEP SENDING YOU HOME
FAT AND HAPPY.
I’M SORRY.
BUT SHE FOUND A WEB SITE
THAT SELLS TOFU IN BULK.
YOU’RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
AND BOUGHT A BIGGER FRIDGE.
YESTERDAY SHE WENT OUT
YOUR LIFE IS SCARY.
BOY, HONEY,
CAN I HAVE YOUR CRUST?
IT’S THE LEAST I CAN DO.
THANKS. BYE.
BYE.
A PIZZA FOR YOUR THOUGHTS.
I WISH I COULD FIGURE OUT A WAY
TO GET PARIS OFF MY BACK.
YEAH. ANGRY CHICKS
ARE THE WORST.
WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I HAD A PARIS.
YEAH?
SHE WAS HORRIBLE.
HOW’D YOU GET RID OF HER?
AND DROPPED OUT.
I GOT PREGNANT
TO FRENCH BRAID HER HAIR?
WHAT IF I JUST LEARN
EVEN BETTER.
THOSE KIDS GET YOU DOWN.
SWEETIE, YOU CAN’T LET
I KNOW.
TO TALK TO ANYBODY?
DO YOU WANT ME
A BIG GUY NAMED MOOSE?
A PARENT, A TEACHER,
I’LL JUST FIGURE IT OUT
FOR MYSELF.
OKAY.
[ LAUGHS ]
WHAT?
ABOUT THE WAY PARIS’ FACE LOOKED
I WAS JUST THINKING
TO THAT MARTIN LUTHER QUESTION.
WHEN I BEAT HER
GOOD, HUH?
14 SHADES OF PURPLE.
COOL.
TOMORROW I’M SHOOTING
FOR 15.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF LUKE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
DO YOU THINK HE’S CUTE?
I MEAN,
OH, NO. NO WAY.
NO WAY WHAT?
YOU CANNOT DATE LUKE.
ABOUT DATING LUKE.
I SAID NOTHING
IF YOU DATE HIM,
YOU’LL BREAK UP,
AND WE’LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO EAT THERE AGAIN.
I REPEAT, I SAID NOTHING
ABOUT DATING LUKE.
DATE AL FROM PANCAKE WORLD.
HIS FOOD STINKS.
WHAT I’M HEARING.
I CANNOT BELIEVE
AL’S FOOD DOES NOT STINK.
AL STINKS.
–不错啊
–谢谢
别动
你为什么要坚持？
因为你明天就要
开始上私立学校了
是的，但我会穿鞋子
没人会看到我的脚
是的，但众所周知
私立学校的女生很坏
坏学生总是涂红色指甲油
你紧张吗？
–紧张什么？
–去奇尔顿上学
你提坏学生之前
我本来不紧张的
搞到新CD了！
XTC的Apple Venus专辑第二辑！
–太好了！
–你只涂了一半
谁在乎？
反正你会穿鞋的！
吉尔摩女孩
妈妈！
什么？天啊！早上好
–你在做什么？
–心脏病发作
我以为你醒了，现在7点10分了
–什么？
–7点10分了
不
住手！现在6点差一刻
–不，不是！
–是的
我把闹钟设成6点差一刻
所以现在是…
7点10分了
我第一天上学不能迟到
你知道第一天上学就迟到的人
会发生什么吗？
变矮？
在一年剩下的时间
他们都会叫她“迟到王”
这么戏剧化，厕所在哪里？
我们必须走了！万一堵车怎么办？
妈妈！
我本来都计划好了
我准备早起
喝杯咖啡
然后洗个澡
去干洗店拿我的衣服
–哦，我的天啊，我的衣服
–什么？
–我没有干净的衣服
–7点15分了
–我好看的衣服都是脏的
–7点16分了
我本来准备穿蓝色西装
配荷叶边喇叭裙的
–我穿那裙子很好看
–7点17分了
听着，报时小姐？
下楼去启动车子
那就帮了大忙了，谢谢
快一点！
太差劲了！
–7点18分了
–行行好！
这是我最后一次买
毛茸茸的东西！
7点…
休想再报时
怎么了？
没什么，我只是不知道
最近有竞技表演
就这样，我要带宝宝照片
不！对不起
我爱竞技表演，竞技表演最好了
斯德霍洛
哈特福特
–我记忆中它小多了
–是啊，还没那么…
–可怕
–是啊
你在看什么？
我想看看那个钟楼里是不是有一个驼背
我看起来怎么样？
你看起来很棒
–真的？
–真的
你是一个了不起的孩子
你争取来的这一切
你只用走进去
告诉他们“聪明”两个字怎么写
我爱你，有需要就打电话给我
–你在开玩笑吧？
–没有
有需要就打电话给我
我很会发出不正经的欢呼声
–你得和我一起进去
–萝莉，别这样
你得见校长
看看我，我今天不能见学校里的任何人
妈妈！
不！我看起来像《正义前锋》里的小妞
今天是我的第一天
你得和我一起进去，必须的
早上好
我们会成为最好的朋友
–我们去哪里？
–安布鲁瓦兹楼
–哪个是？
–那个又大又可怕的楼
太好了！谢谢你的描述
–迷路了？
–是啊
我们在找校长办公室
安布鲁瓦兹楼
好的，这里就是
往里走，下楼
然后向左转
校长办公室在大厅的尽头
–太好了，谢谢
–别客气
我是伊恩杰克
我的女儿朱莉娅在这里上学
你好，我罗蕾莱吉尔摩
这是我的女儿，萝莉
–你的女儿？真的吗？
–是的
哇，太棒了
我的意思是，女儿们都很棒
–我们都喜欢女儿
–是啊
你的丈夫来了吗？
我很乐意见见他
我没有结婚
不过我想见见你的妻子
–我离婚了
–真糟
–不好意思，我得去…
–对
我们得去见校长
然后我还要去上班
–你在哪里上班？
–在一家酒店
–独立酒店，我是经理
–真的？
上班时我打扮当然不一样
很高兴认识你，罗蕾莱
祝你在学校里好运，萝莉
–我会要朱莉娅照看你的
–非常感谢
再见
真是一个好人
你现在对自己感觉还不错
是不是？
是啊
–要我给你一面镜子吗？
–我回到现实了，我们走吧
里面也这么壮观
–你准备好了吗？
–没有
查尔斯顿校长
–你准备好了吗？
–是的
打扰一下
您好，我是罗蕾莱吉尔摩
这是我的女儿，罗蕾莱吉尔摩
我用我的名字给她命名
我在医院生她时，受止痛药影响
算了没关系
但是，我们都叫她萝莉
是罗蕾莱的昵称
但叫她哪一个她都会答应你
甚至你就叫她“喂”，如果你…
校长在吗？
稍等
你看，不卸妆就睡觉
以后下场就是这样
查尔斯顿校长现在可以见你们
太好了，谢谢
吉尔摩小姐，我是查尔斯顿校长
你好，哇，很荣幸见到…
妈妈
你在这里做什么？
我来祝我孙女上学
第一天好运
萝莉，你穿这身校服太好看了
你没必要大老远来这里，妈妈
我想找机会来确保
翰林会好好照顾萝莉
–你是翰林
–翰林查尔斯顿
翰林的妻子和我都是
交响乐筹款委员会会员
哇，太棒了
你父亲和我是高尔夫对手
我们还在拼谁更烂
是的，我们都是老朋友了
朋友是再好不过的了
特别是，老…朋友
你想脱下外套坐下吗？
不，不用了
生火炉的今天早上有点用力过猛
–这里相当热啊
–我喜欢热
罗蕾莱，脱掉你的外套，坐下
不要让翰林觉得你很无礼
洗衣日
翰林，你知道吗
萝莉的平均分数是4.0？
我肯定他知道，妈妈
她是一个很特别的女孩
请好好照顾她
我们将竭尽所能，艾米丽
天啊，萝莉不成问题
她的维护成本很低
像本田一样
你知道，它们很容易…
办公室很漂亮啊
我们不应该再占用你的宝贵时间了
翰林，见到你很开心
请向比蒂问好
告诉理查德
我们周日俱乐部见
祝你今天过得愉快，萝莉
回来告诉我发生的一切
要载你一程吗
还是你的马停在外面？
见到您很高兴
祝你有美好的一天
别忘记你的外套
不，不然就尴尬了
你怎么穿成这样就出门？
这是计划之外的，相信我
萝莉上学的第一天
你觉得你会给人留下什么样的印象？
你来这里做什么？
我告诉过你
我来这里帮萝莉说好话
–她不需要人说好话
–我不允许来这里，是吗？
我没有这样说
我花钱付的学费
但是我不能到这里来
–我想把规矩说清楚
–天啊
–我能开车经过这附近吗？
–算我没说
也许我根本不该来这一片
但是我的医生在这个街区
也许我的头流血的时候
能够得到特殊许可
对不起
我只是看到你觉得很惊讶
我认为让这所学校知道
有一个吉尔摩家的人加入，很重要
想法很好
另外，吉尔摩家的其他人
是有衣服穿的
关于这一点，我必须去上班了
一会儿见
星期五晚上的晚餐，别带马刺
你显然是一个聪明的女孩
吉尔摩小姐
–谢谢
–成绩优异，老师喜欢你
但是社会活动不是很多
住在斯德霍洛
其实就算是一种社会活动了
你的学校对你没有吸引力吗？
有时放学后
我去我母亲的酒店打工
我在德国俱乐部做了一段时间
但只有我们三个人
后来另外两人看了《辛德勒的名单》之后
去了法国俱乐部
你有什么愿望？
我想去哈佛
学习新闻学和政治学
–你想成为…
–克里斯汀阿曼普
–真的吗？
–是的
–不是科基罗伯茨？
–不是
不是奥普拉、罗茜
或是《新视线》里的任何女性？
不
你为什么想成为克里斯汀阿曼普？
我不想和她一模一样
–我只想做她做的事
–是什么？
旅游，近距离看世界
报道发生的事情
参与到大事件
参与到大事件
你必须要上电视？
那不如在高速追击中被警察追？
这样目标会实现得更快
上电视和这个无关
也许我会成为一名记者
把我看到的写成书或文章
我只是想确保
我能看到些东西
你会注意到我不擅长辩论
我认识你的祖父母
很长一段时间了
我知道
其实上周我还去他们家参加了一次聚会
在那里我吃到了最美味的龙虾酥
我很喜欢他们
这很好
但是这些
都不会为你带来任何好处
奇尔顿拥有的学术标准
是美国所有学校中最高的
你可能已经是斯德霍洛最聪明的女孩
但是这里不一样
压力更大
规则更严格
期望更高
如果你能成功
你会受到最好的教育
当然，你也定会实现你所有的目标
但是，既然你来得比较晚
也不太习惯这种高度竞争的氛围
你也很有可能会失败
没事，失败是生活的一部分
但不是奇尔顿的一部分
理解了？
所以，你喜欢龙虾酥，是吧？
带这个去找大厅对面
行政办公室的詹姆斯小姐
行政
嗨，我找詹姆斯小姐
–姓名？
–罗蕾莱吉尔摩
–但是大家叫我萝莉
–填好这个
–然后？
–闭嘴
快点，有蜘蛛
–罗蕾莱吉尔摩
–很好听的脱衣舞娘名字
–之前就读斯德霍洛高中
–那在哪里？
往西行驶，在草堆处往左转
跟着奶牛走
一只南方小鸡
全勤
平均成绩4.0
臭虫、灰尘、树枝
她是新闻专业的
这意味着她要加入校报
没必要
她这里好像有一千个推荐
受大人喜欢
还要加入校报
有完没完？
不知道她会不会加入…
–有东西咬我
–安静
我讨厌大自然
她永远也追不上
她已落后一个月了
–你可以辅导她，像一个大姐姐
–你好搞笑
有蜥蜴，我走了
他们为什么让
这些多余的人进来？
他们只是占用地方
搞砸整体的成绩
我们这里不需要新学生
太晚了
这是餐厅，科学馆
还有剧院
这是你的储物柜号码
这是你的课程表，拿着这张地图
这是学校的规定
和奇尔顿荣誉准则
这是校歌的歌词
要求你背诵时你必须能办到
任何地点，任何时间都可能检查你
如果你会拉丁语的，可以多得分
你有什么问题吗？
–现在没有
–如果你有问题，可以预约
去见你的辅导员
温特斯先生
他处理一切事情
贪食症和怀孕除外
对这种情况，你必须去找护士
或鲁本斯教练
欢迎你来奇尔顿
卢克小馆
我度过了人生中最漫长的一天
现在才十点钟，真恼火
–没有咖啡
–这不好笑
可以给你花草茶
今天早晨没心情喝花草茶
今天早晨适宜喝咖啡
对你来说每天早晨都适宜喝咖啡
今天早晨特别需要咖啡
我需要咖啡让我振奋
我可以给你茶和一根能量棒
求你了，告诉我你是在开玩笑
–我在开玩笑
–你有病
–是啊
–你是虐待狂，你是个魔鬼！
你很漂亮
–这里喝还是带走？
–带走谢谢
想知道这东西
对你的中枢神经系统有什么作用吗？
–你有图表吗？我爱图表
–得了吧，杀了你自己
今天早上发生了什么可怕的事情？
–萝莉开始去奇尔顿上学了
–真的吗？
是啊
什么？
你打扮成这样送萝莉到奇尔顿？
这是一所了不起的学校
我的衣服在洗衣店
我毛茸茸的闹钟没有呜呜叫
–它没有呜呜叫？
–它是毛茸茸的，它会呜呜叫
算了，我要走了
–我本来都计划好了，该死的
–我也是，下一次你要喝茶
想象，女士们
这是一个感恩节游行
你站在第五大道上
有100个漂亮男孩
在你们的身后行军
你就在那里
你迷人的大腿和完美的屁股
你的指挥棒着火
人群为之疯狂！
好吧，饼干时间
–罗蕾莱，你好啊
–嘿，帕蒂
今天不是萝莉在奇尔顿的第一天吗？
是啊，她现在在那里
我刚刚送她去
你就穿这个？
–注意时间，再见，帕蒂
–再见
女士们，我看到什么？裸女
不，不，穿着那些紧身衣
这不是巴西
–你好？
–罗蕾莱？
妈妈？
罗蕾莱，太好了
我今天下午要去购物
我想我可以去
帮萝莉买些东西
–比如什么？
–一些上学穿的裙子和上衣
我已经准备好了，妈妈
我给她准备了两条裙子和一些上衣
但学校每周要上学五天
真的吗？我一周七日的内衣
只能撑到周四
–你开玩笑吗？
–妈妈，两条裙子够了
–我从来不理解你
–真的，别麻烦了
如果她弄脏了呢？
–那她可以穿另外一条
–如果两条都脏了呢？
那么我们就用一个新奇的东西
叫做洗衣机
镇子刚刚凑钱买了一台
周二轮到我可以用
那么，袜子呢？
奇尔顿的袜子有特殊的标志
–萝莉该穿这种袜子
–妈，求你了
那学校的毛衣呢？
她可能会喜欢
他们还有毛衣背心和书包
商品销售店是不是给你提成？
萝莉应该有这些东西
她是学校唯一一个没有的学生
她会没事的
至少让我给她买一件奇尔顿外套
她是6号尺寸？
妈妈，别了
这是一个简单的问题，罗蕾莱
她是6号
但我会买8号，以防她长大
如果她长大，我就再买
好吧，那就6号吧
我得挂了，妈妈，再见
虽然在外界文化影响中
法国文化占优势
尤其是对俄罗斯的有产阶级
英国文化也有其影响
托尔斯泰最喜欢的作家
例如…
狄更斯
当然，上周我们讨论了
陀思妥耶夫斯基主要的作者影响…
–乔治桑和巴尔扎克
–很好
托尔斯泰开始写
《战争与和平》、《安娜卡列尼娜》…
–这个大文豪转向…
–大卫科波菲尔
正确，他会转向
大卫科波菲尔来获得灵感
–杜格里先生
–先生
很高兴你回来
–希望你爷爷好些了
–好多了，先生
好，请坐下
《远大前程》，《双城记》、《小杜丽》
托尔斯泰的所有主要影响
明天…
–那是谁？
–新来的女孩
…两位文学大师的写作风格
托尔斯泰和狄更斯
下课
看来我们也有一个“玛丽”了
吉尔摩小姐，请来这里
这是上周的学习资料
明天会针对这些进行一个测验
但是，因为你是新来的
你可以在周一补考
这样时间够吗？
星期一？当然，可以
好，这只是一个概述
找其他学生借个人笔记看
会更加有用
笔记会更加详细
比这个更详细？
我知道它看起来很艰巨
不，没关系，没事
记住要去借笔记
笔记会救你
我是帕里斯
我刚刚没看到你
你从哪儿来？
我还知道你是谁
从斯德霍洛来的罗蕾莱吉尔摩
你可以叫我萝莉
–你要去“富兰克林”吗？
–什么？
装得好无辜
至少我知道
你不是要去剧社
我不太懂
“富兰克林”校报
你要去那里？
我不知道
我得先去找我的储物柜
–我是明年的编辑
–恭喜你
我在班上名列前茅
我打算毕业时做致告别辞者
好的，我要走了
你永远不会赶上我
你永远不会打败我
这所学校是我的地盘
“富兰克林”是我的地盘
永远不要忘记这一点
估计你不可能借你的笔记给我
独立酒店
它们比上一批小
不，不是
小代表都是水分
没有香甜的桃子味
不，很有桃子味道
桃子肯定有桃子味
–在下面的那一部分呢？
–很好
不，一定要都检查，就这样
它们每一个，都要挤一下
不要留下可以再卖给别人的桃子
等一下，你漏掉了一个
我不会告诉你是哪一个
我要让你无可挑剔的雷达…
就是那个，你找到了
好的
–我看起来很好，对不对？
–是的
是的，你看，我今天早上应该打扮成这样
–早上好，杰克逊
–哦，我的天啊，今天是萝莉的第一天
是，我本来应该收拾得
即得体又好看的
不应该像是玩了一通宵的
–没人在乎你的样子
–人人都在意
–谁？
–其他的妈妈、校长
我的妈妈、卢克、帕蒂小姐
小脑袋的新消防队长
尝尝这个
有点多汁
你们商量好的
–你说你妈妈怎么了？
–是的
我走进校长办公室时
发现她在里面
真的？为啥？
因为她知道我会晚起
穿得像个女牛仔
去羞辱自己
–哇，她真好
–她是最好的
我很想知道你在做什么
–它们的滚动也不同
–因为多余的水分
–确实
–非常有道理
我会忽略那些女人
因为唯一重要的是
萝莉去了那所伟大的学校
我知道，她穿那身校服好好看
她很激动
我好佩服她
能够进入一所新学校
–她是我的英雄
–也是我的
是啊，加上我
苏琪，快搞定桃子的事
打扰一下，有电话找你
如果我要像狗一样来找你
我想要一块饼干还有加薪
谢谢你的桃子
这绝对会很精彩
这条街的里里外外
应该到处都是很好的商店
对不起，先生，你能告诉我
我们去哪里找到最好的古董？
我估计在你的家里
我给你的这个号
我不记得给过你这个号码
是啊，我肯定是失去理智了
我能…
对不起，妈妈
你能等一下吗？
徳雷拉，可以降低一个音量吗？
谢谢，好吧，我回来了
我想告诉你
我刚给萝莉买了一个奇尔顿的停车位
–你什么？
–它们很难买到
但是我动用了点关系
就买到了
妈妈，萝莉没有车
没有，但马上就是她的生日了
好吧，等一下
徳雷拉，请轻些
我不是播放器，可以随时调音量
妈妈，你不能给萝莉买车
为什么不呢？她是个聪明的女孩
她很负责
–她不需要车
–她需要车来出行
–去上学
–她坐公车去上学
我知道，我不喜欢她坐公交车
毒贩子才坐公交车
听着，妈妈？我要挂了
好吧，我们以后再谈这个问题
好的，再见
玛丽
–我？
–是的，你
–我的名字叫萝莉
–我是特里斯廷
–嗨
–你是新来的？
–是啊，第一天
–雷米的课有点难
是啊，很紧凑
我可以把我的笔记借给你
会对你有帮助
–真的？那太好了
–是吗？
有多好？
我不知道
雷米先生说
找别人借笔记会…
如果你需要，我甚至可以帮你学习
我觉得学习是一种
独立完成的行为
但是谢谢你
再见，玛丽
是萝莉
–我完全理解
–是吗？因为这是一辆崭新的汽车
–但是我发誓
–他把车带来时车被划伤了
我只是把车向后倒
我停车之前，车子有没有被划伤我会知道
我们都冷静下来
先生，我明天去检查一下您的车
好吗？
我敢肯定，我们可以找到解决方法
不
与此同时
我请您在这里吃午饭
甜品是必须的
任何东西加上我们的自制冰淇淋
都绝对好吃
我保证，生活会绝对不一样
您觉得呢？
我想我会
–谢谢
–谢谢
罗蕾莱，我发誓
我没有刮伤他的车
德里克
如果你觉得我不可靠
或是开车很烂
没关系
我会开车
亲爱的，我相信你可以
我们明天把它送到马士基
让那里的人检查一下
我敢肯定他们能擦亮
花不了什么钱，好吗？
好的
今天你穿的这一身真好看
谢谢你，德里克
再次，您忠实的狗在这里说
“请到前台来，有人要和你说话”
–不是我的妈妈，是吗？
–可能是的
–可能是的？
–有点像
–嗨
–嗨，现在不是时候吗？
不，一点都不，你在这里做什么？
我得和一个合伙人共进午餐
他从纽约来
所以我想
“为什么不选这个美丽的酒店呢？”
–好，享受你的午餐
–谢谢，我会的
–好的
–另外我也想知道
我有没有机会请你吃晚餐
我们对食品很痴迷，不是吗？
我对公司比对食物的兴趣更大
–我受宠若惊
–这代表答应了吗？
我是说…你是个父亲
你是一个母亲
虽然我还是觉得很难相信
不，你是奇尔顿的一位家长
–那听起来不太好
–不是不好，是棘手
萝莉刚开始在这里上学
我想在她和坏孩子打成一片之前
我最好别跟家长教师协会的人约会
我没加入协会
你看？就是这样
我不能跟不是家长教师协会的人约会
–就一顿随意的晚餐
–抱歉
好吧，听我说
我要去中国出差一个星期
等我回来后，我会再尝试一次
中国？哇
–很了不起？
–不
如果是罗马，我会觉得了不起
对中国，我只会说“中国？哇”
“罗蕾莱吉尔摩，总经理”
不久再聊
–一路平安
–我会
–他走路真好看
–你让我恶心
亲爱的，你试试吧
我也会看着你走开
–住嘴
–去吧，走给我看看
–不可能那么糟
–别烦我
不，你要多带一点点态度来走
让我觉得你是认真的
要吃午餐了
我很抱歉，但你要打开
哦，不，我很抱歉
帕里斯，拜托，我很抱歉
这是一个意外
我的储物柜，滑了一下
我拉得太用力了，我不是故意的…
那壕沟里有水吗？
离我远点
对不起，我在找内斯小姐，历史课？
就在你后面
太巧了
你一定是在开玩笑吧
现在请坐
嘿，玛丽
好的
上周五我们结束了盖纳先生的项目
今天我们挑选了盖勒女士
我没有项目
盖勒小姐，你是否有足够的时间
完成你的项目？
–是的
–但你还没有做完？
–没有
–好吧
这个项目你会得到一个“未完成”
–我的错
–你是谁？
–萝莉吉尔摩，我毁了她的项目
–闭嘴
我这里没有萝莉吉尔摩
只有罗蕾莱吉尔摩
那就是我
你是萝莉和罗蕾莱吉尔摩？
是的，我砸了她的项目
我的储物柜卡住了
不用你插手
–你是想叫萝莉还是罗蕾莱？
–随你
这不是她的错
–我需要你挑选一个
–一个什么？
一个名字
–萝莉
–好的，谢谢
你什么时候毁了帕里斯的项目？
–就在上课前
–非常方便
不，真的是我，我的储物柜卡住了
我打开它时…
住嘴！
吉尔摩小姐，既然你说
你毁了她的项目
那么你可以帮她解决这个问题
明天必须做好
–好的
–不
–为什么不呢？
–我不要你的帮助
–但是我不介意
–不要你插手
你这人怎么回事？
–我想帮你
–不要
女士们，够了
如果你不想吉尔摩小姐的帮助
你明天自己做好
如果做不完
你会得到一个“未完成”
明白吗？
是的
既然你站着，同学们
我们有一个新同学
给萝莉吉尔摩问好
你好，玛丽
欢迎来到斯德霍洛
人口9973人
现在，慢慢走
你们的脑袋上是新的哈利波特
如果它们掉下来，哈利会死
就再也没有新《哈利波特》了
今天早上你就应该这样打扮，小姐
你在这里做什么？
现在你看，这就是为什么你被选为
新千年的人格先生
你的王冠在哪里？
我的意思是
你通常不会这个时候来
我要去学校接萝莉
–谢谢
–别客气
没有说教？
我的血糖低
我吃一个苹果，再来找你
天哪，今天我真是有够忙乱的
是吗？
是啊，今天早上我起晚了
然后我的母亲出现了
还有一个奇尔顿的父亲家长
他开车从哈特福特一路开到酒店
约我出去
真的？你去吗？
不，他的孩子和萝莉一起上学
所以会有点怪
–很好
–很好？
是的，你拒绝了他
我认为很好
好的
–他可能很老了，对不对？
–老？
是的，他的孩子在读高中
嗯，我的也是
你生萝莉时，你还年轻
大多数人都没有那么年轻
–大部分人都…
–很老了
是啊
像这个约我出去的家伙
但你不会去
不，我不会
是我的
禁用手机
你好？嗨，芭贝特
什么？好的
不，我马上就到，谢谢
我得走了
不用，给你的是没咖啡因的
吉尔摩
罗蕾莱，我很抱歉
我打电话打扰你
没关系，芭贝特，我很感激
它们突然停下来，走出卡车
开始嗅探周围
–很奇怪
–好吧，让我和它们谈谈
–告诉她侏儒的事
–它们踢了侏儒
–什么？
–直击头部
–那很不对
–我非常抱歉，侏儒没事吗？
他很好，亲爱的，谢谢你关心
但我不相信这些孩子们
踢侏儒的
说了很多关于人的性格的事
是的，我要去处理一下
谢谢
你在做什么？
–你住这？
–是，住这
我要给罗蕾莱吉尔摩安装一个DSL
是你吗？
–是的，就是我
–我是迈克
很高兴见到你
你能离开我的门廊吗？
说你不会在家
我们要找一个陶瓷青蛙，里面有钥匙
–我不明白
–我们找不到青蛙
–我没有定DSL
–是艾米丽吉尔摩下的订单
不
我们本应该已经完事
但找青蛙拖延了时间
听着
–我找到了
–你找到了青蛙
–那不是一只青蛙，是一只乌龟
–这里说它是一只青蛙
–是只乌龟
–真的？
相信我，听着，迈克
恐怕我不得不取消了DSL订单
你确定？已经付款了
是的，我知道，但是我们不需要DSL
所以谢谢你们过来
你们可以回去了
有什么问题？
莎士比亚能把所有东西变成出色的戏剧
让我们试另一段文章
帕里斯我很抱歉，请让我来帮助你
“天主教徒
非常熟练地
“在他们周围绘制了三面墙壁
“借此他们迄今保护自己
“使得没有人能改造他们
基督教已经可怕地堕落”
–谁说的？
–马丁路德
很好，吉尔摩小姐
马丁路德是在哪一年
针对基督徒贵族的？
–1520年
–非常好，吉尔摩小姐
下次继续，同学们
别挡道
我会让这所学校成为你的地狱
明天见，玛丽
我叫萝莉
–我能帮你吗？
–天啊，我倒希望
到底怎么回事…
–你不能给我们买DSL
–罗蕾莱，现在谈这个不方便
我取消了订单
我们不要DSL
但萝莉需要互联网来学习
我们有互联网
–这个更快
–我们喜欢我们慢网，好吗？
我们可以打开，四处走走
跳个小舞，做个三明治
有了DSL，就没有舞蹈，没有四处走走
我们还会饿死
我们将一直工作，没有玩乐
妈，你有看过《闪灵》吗？
你到底在说什么？
另外，不要买车
不要停车位
另外所有的校服都应该由我来提供
我是她妈妈
这是最后结论，不再讨论了
–你依旧固执
–不，我没有依旧固执
我是在做我自己
我一直都在独自解决自己的问题
照顾好自己
我生来如此
–我就是这样的人！
–弗洛伦斯，有水滴下来
我很感谢你为萝莉做的
支付了她的学费
我们不会忘记
你不会让我们忘记
但她是我的女儿
我来决定我们如何生活，而不是你
现在…
他们允许在这里停车吗？
桌上有停车券
谢谢
嘿，你
来这个私立学校上学的事，是我自己提的？
我今天也糟透了
–发誓？
–我用我母亲的生命发誓
–还没完
–还要抱抱
–我带来了一些咖啡
–为什么，好惊奇
三重帽，轻松泡
如果这没有效
我们在灯座里伸出我们的手指
过来
哇，难道他们希望你一天里就变聪明？
–他们期待的东西很多
–那么告诉我
我不知道，这八个小时真的
好长、好吓人、好难过
再加上一些发胶
我们俩就一样了
有一个女孩已经恨我了
男生们好奇怪
–比其他人还怪？
–是啊，他们一直叫我玛丽
你在跟我开玩笑
哇，我不能相信他们还这样说
–为什么？什么意思？
–玛丽，像圣母玛利亚
这意味着他们认为
你看起来像在充好人
–你在开玩笑
–没有
如果他们觉得我看起来像一个荡妇
他们会叫我什么？
他们可能会加上“抹大拉”
对圣经的侮辱
真是一所先进的学校
今天没有你在学校，好怪
我终于注意到一些其他的孩子
我只想说，他们好无趣
是吗？再加上一些格子裙
你就是奇尔顿怪胎了
–我好想念你
–我也想你
伙计们，我有一个想法
要不要周二和周四
我去哈特福特上商务课时
莱恩过来
你们可以购物和学习
加入邪教，剃你的头？
–真的？
–除了剃头的部分
不好了，几点了？
6点半
–我晚餐迟到了
–又迟到？
莱恩，如果我继续把你喂饱了开心送回家
你妈会杀了我
我的错
她找到一个批量卖豆腐的网站
你在开玩笑吧？
昨天，她出去买了一个更大的冰箱
孩子，亲爱的，你的生活好可怕
–我能吃你的面包皮吗？
–我至少可以做这一点
谢谢，再见
比萨换你的看法
我希望能让帕里斯别再刁难我
是啊，愤怒的小妞是最可怕的
我在高中时，我也有这样一个帕里斯
–是吗？
–是啊，她太可怕了
–你如何摆脱她的？
–我怀孕然后退学了
–如果我学会帮她编法式发辫呢？
–那当然好
亲爱的，你不能让那些孩子打败你
我知道
你想让我和谁谈谈吗？
家长、老师
肌肉发达的慕斯？
–我会自己弄清楚
–好的
什么？
我只是在想
我用马丁路德的问题
打击帕里斯时
她的脸孔
–很好，是吧？
–14层紫色
–不错啊
–明天我继续到15层
你认为卢克怎么样？
–你什么意思？
–我的意思是，你觉得他可爱吗？
–不，没门
–没门什么？
–你不能跟卢克约会
–我没有说要和卢克约会
如果你和他约会，你们会分手
我们将永远不能再在那里吃东西
我再说一遍，我没有说要和卢克约会
和煎饼店的艾尔约会吧
他的食物让人难以接受
我简直不敢相信我的耳朵
艾尔的食物不难接受
艾尔本人才让人难以接受
