Everybody Loves Raymond 6-2 英语

Oh, God, I’m exhausted.


I could fall asleep

right here.

Alright, okay. I get it.

Get what?

You don’t gotta do

the whole “I’m tired” show.

Alright. Don’t worry.

I will not be…bothering

you this evening.

Wait a minute,

you think this is an act

so I won’t have

to have sex with you?

Not much of an act.

You could jazz it up

with a song or two.

And-and by the way

I wasn’t gonna do anything

later anyway, okay, so..

You don’t got to insult me

with your preemptive strike.

– You’re nuts.

– Admit it.

You came in here

to tell me you were tired

so-so I would

leave you alone later.

– I did not!

– Why can’t you admit it?

Look, you’re tired, right?

You had a long day.

So what’s the last thing

you would wanna do later?

Well, you might

be right about that.

Huh. See? I know.

I know when people

don’t wanna have sex with me.

You’re talkin’ to an expert.

Okay, so let me ask you this..

How come you’re only picking up

that “I’m tired”

means “no sex tonight”?

How come “I’m tired”

doesn’t also mean

“Gee, I could really use

some help in the kitchen

with all those dishes”?

What am I, a mind reader?

(male announcer)

Another season of

“Everybody Loves Raymond.”


[triumphant instrumental music]




How’s your book?

It’s really great.


Yeah, it takes place in the

19th century as this family–

That’s very interesting.

Ray! What are you doing?

What? You’re up.

So what?

So I-I come in here, you’re up,

you’re in a good mood.

You’re not too tired.

Who says I’m not too tired?

All I’m doing is reading.

So you can stay up to read,

but you can’t spare

two minutes for sex?

Look, I’m sorry, Ray, okay?

It’s not like

I’m trying to trick you.

I am tired and I thought

I would do a little reading

before I fell asleep.


There are other things

we could do a little

before we both fall asleep,

I mean..

…we’re not talkin’ about

runnin’ a marathon here.

We’re just gonna roll around

a little, you know?

I, I find it very relaxing

and restful

but what the hell do I know?


You go ahead, go ahead–

Ray, come on.

Book about the 19th century

doesn’t put you to sleep

how tired can you be?

So what you-you’re saying is

that you would rather read?

Tonight, yes.

Do me a favor, if there’s

people having sex in that book

could you read out loud?

[instrumental music]

Here, one of you try this.

Oh, God!

Oh, this is awful!

I thought so. It’s Debra’s.

It’s gone bad.

Although, with Debra, it

probably didn’t have far to go.

Wait a minute.

Let me see that.

You’re right. This is not good.

The under part’s

a little better.

What is it?

I don’t know.

It’s got a crunch, but I don’t

think that’s on purpose.

[door closes]

Oh, hello, Raymond.

Ma, what are you doing?

I’m cleaning your fridge.

I thought it was just one item

but once I opened it..

Well, dear, it’s not good news.

Ma, you-you probably

shouldn’t be doing this.

Oh. Alright, do it to that.

Just hurry up

before she gets back.

What else you got?

You finished that?


And now we wait.

What did you buy, Raymond?

Oh, uh, no, it’s nothing.

Oh, something sensitive.

What is it?

No, it’s just shirts.

You bought shirts? By yourself?


Let’s see these…shirts.

I…would not be comfortable

with that, alright?

Why the hell not?

Because, they’re..


Are you trying

to hide something?

Mind your business, ma. Alright?


“The board game

of love and intimacy.”

It’s just, it’s a gag gift that

I got for a friend of mine

who…loves gags.

Oh, really?

And who is this “lover of gags”?

Would his name start with an “R”

and end with an “aymond,” hmm?

Give me the game.

I’ve heard of these games.

They’re for adults only.

Oh, my God.

Gonna spice things up, eh, racy?

– Alright, dad, no. It’s just–

– Oh, Raymond.

– Another sex game?

– What are you talking about?

Well, it’s like the other one

you had when you were younger.

With all the colored dots.


Don’t think I didn’t know

what was going on downstairs.

What? I played with Robert.

I don’t wanna hear any more.

This game must be Debra’s doing.

Well, it’s not.

I should have guessed

when I opened the fridge

with two bottles of white wine?

Are you swingers?

Alright, mom.

You just asked

if I was a wife-swapper.

Now, there’s an idea.

I don’t even have to swap.

I’ll just make a donation.

I sure hope you’re better at

this than you were at Twister.

As I remember, you had no

flexibility at all.

Poor Debra.

No, you should close

your curtains too.

You never know who’s

looking into the windows.

I got a pretty good idea.

– Hey.

– ‘What’s up?’

– Mom!

Whatever you do in your

bedroom is your business.


It’s not from me. It’s from him.

Ray, what is going on?

I’ll tell you what’s going on.

For once I’d like to bring

a game into this house

without being accused

of having sex with my brother.

Listen, sweetheart..

…everybody’s making

a big fuss over nothing.

Now, I looked

at the back of the box

and from what I could see..

To be continued.

Okay, kids are down.

Yeah. Listen.

Sorry about…the

embarrassment today

with the game and all.

You know, I just,

I went to the store to try

to buy you a funny card.

You know, ’cause of last night.

But they’re not funny.

They’re just stupid.

There’s, they got

this one funny one.

The guy, the old guy

with no teeth.


Like this.

But, yeah, I-I couldn’t remember

if I got you that

for Valentine’s day or not so..

You know, so I just, I got you

that game just to say..

…you know, “ha ha.”

It’s okay, Ray.

Come on, let’s go play.



You really wanna play this?

Even though my mother

knows we have it?

We’ve already got the guilt.

We might as well have the fun.

– Hmm?

– Well, alriiight!

Okay. Here’s the directions.

I’ve already read them.

Hey, I don’t need directions.

I mean, it’s been a while,

but I remember.

Okay, so it’s pretty simple.

You just roll the dice

and you do whatever it says

on the square you land on.

– Okay.

– Alright?

Now, some of the squares

are naughty..

Hang on.

Go ahead.

And some are romantic.

– Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

– Okay?

Okay, so I’ll go first.

This is me. That’s you.

Alright, come on, buddy, put

your game face on. Ooh, ooh..

Alright, alright,

alright, alright!

Stop, stop, stop. Okay, ready?

– Ooh, lucky number seven.

– Okay.

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven.

“Kiss your lover as though

they are about to

climb Mount Everest.”

Oh, yeah.


Ray! Ray, Ray, stop it!


– It’s your turn.

– I love this game.

Ray, come on! Ray!

– You’ve got to roll!

– Hey, I’m climbing Everest.

– I could be dead tomorrow.

– Listen, Ray!

– I’m going away!

– Would you roll the dice?

Alright, alright,

alright, alright.


Three. One, two, three.

“Tell your lover something

about you they do not know.”

– I’m back from Everest!

– Ray! Ray, come on.

Would you…stop it!

Would you stop?

You’re supposed to share

something with me.

– I’m trying to!

– Come on.


Where are the fun squares?


The blue squares are naughty.

The pink squares are romantic.

– Pink.

– Alright, come on.

Tell me something

I don’t know about you.


Something you don’t know.


Well…uh, this afternoon

when I was trying

to get you something..


I stopped and got a chili dog.

– Just give me the dice.

– Wait, come on.

There’s nothing but pink

squares. Hold on, where’s blue?

Right here’s blue.

The first blue one.

“Without using your hand,

remove a piece

of your lover’s clothing.”

Oh, yeah.


Hold on, hold on,

what do I need?

I need a one, two,

three, four, five.

Okay, five’s what I’m talking

about. Come on, five, baby.

If we get a three, we get

to write each other a poem.

Oh, God! Please, no.

Please, five!

Come on, five! Five!

Fever in the cathouse,

the doctor ain’t home.

– Ha! Nine.

– Alright, I’ll move it for you.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine!

– A blue one!

– No, no.

– You counted that square twice.

– No, I didn’t.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine.

I don’t think you’re getting

into the spirit

of the game here.

Let me read the square.

“Without talking,

stare into your lover’s eyes

for three minutes.”

What, are you kidding me?

Three minutes.

– What?

– Okay.

Do you know how long

three minutes is?

It’s long. Ask an egg.

Do it.

Alright, let me set my thing.


Ready, go.

Put it down!

I don’t think we’re getting

what’s intended here

’cause you’re startin’

to look like the devil.

– Alright. You know, forget it.

– No, no!

It’s just that my eyes are

blurry, that’s all! Come on.

I-I didn’t say

it’s not romantic.

Right, the devil’s hot.

Why can’t you look into my eyes?

– Because they’re too beautiful.

– Oh!

Look, look, the game’s obviously

rigged, alright?

There’s twice as many

pink romantic squares

as naughty blue ones.

Why did you buy the game, Ray,


That’s what I really

don’t understand.

Why did you buy it if you didn’t

wanna play?

I thought it would be fun.

It’s got something

for both of us.

Sex for me, reading for you.

You really have no idea

what this game is for, do you?

Yes, I have an idea. The game is

to get you in the mood.

Remember the mood?

No, this game

is not about my mood.

This game is supposed

to improve our sex life.

Yeah, well,

then I got the wrong game.

I should’ve get the

game that gets you to have

a sex life.

Oh, yes, you’re the poor

sex-starved husband.

Yeah, and you’re

the poor put-upon wife

who doesn’t get any romance.

No, I’m not talking

about romance though.

I wanted to play this game

for other things too.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

I don’t hold your hand enough.

Watch you sleep, listen to your


– Muh, muh, muh..

– Ugh.

Well and let me

tell you something.

What you-what you call romance

it’s always changing.

Sometimes it’s that you want

flowers and then other times

other times, it

how about the time

you got excited

’cause I brought home

a bucket of chicken?

Why? What is romance?

Tell me what it is.

I’ll do it every time.

Listen, Ray, I’m not talking

about you and the romance.

I’m talking about you

and…the blue squares.

What? The blue squares?

The blue ones are the sex ones!

What? What are you saying?



The blue squares.

Is it all right

if we talk about it?


Go ahead.



First of all, I love you.


But when we are..

…making love..


Ray, just look at me.


I’m your wife.

You should be able to

talk to me about this. Come on.

Your wife is the last person you

want to hear these things from.

Who would you rather

hear it from?

Somebody who doesn’t

have any proof.

Look, this isn’t easy for me

to talk about either.

– How bad is this?

– No, it’s not bad.

And it’s not just you.

Who else?


Ray, it’s about us.

So, listen. Just listen.

I-I need..




You need variety?

I…oh, I got that.

I, oh, I was worried that you

were gonna mention my

well, why bring it up?

But, uh, but variety?

I am variety. I’m Ed Sullivan.

Variety. Wasn’t I the guy who

came into the bedroom

with the cowboy hat on, huh?

How about the time I was the

fireman and you were

the burning sorority house?

Well, I mean,

by variety, I mean..

Look, the cowboy

and the fireman are fun.

But once they take

their hats off

they’re pretty much the same.

What…what do you mean?

I need them to be..


Now, hold on.

Hold on. I am not selfish!

I am not selfish!

If there’s anything

you want, anything, I do it!

You want me to be more flexible?

I’m flexing!

Huh? You-you-you want me to talk

in an accent?

“You go’ it, guv’ner.” huh?

Come on, just tell me what you

want. What do you want?

– I want..

– What?

See, this is

what I’m talking about.

Why should I have to

tell you what I want?

So I will know.

Well, do you know

how depressing that is

that after 12 years,

you don’t know?

Why do I have

to say it out loud?

Wh-why haven’t you

been paying attention?

What do you mean

“paying attention”?

Well, I mean, you only

seem to pick up the signals

that affect you.

Like, you know

what “I’m tired” means

because it means

no fun for Raymond.

But if I give you

the “go” signal

then you just stop

paying attention.

I could shoot off

a flare in here

and you wouldn’t even notice.


I didn’t know that.

– Can I ask you something?

– Sure.

After 12 years,

I should know you, right?

That’s all I’m saying.

After 12 years,

shouldn’t you know me?

I mean, you could have realized

that I wasn’t getting

your signals after…year three.

I mean…I mean you had to know

that you were married to a guy

who occasionally

might miss a thing or two

and-and maybe you might

have to…speak up.

– I don’t wanna speak up.

– Why not?

It’s embarrassing.

Not as embarrassing as finding

out you’ve been doing it wrong

for 12 years.

Yeah. I..

You’re right. I’m sorry.

Okay, I’ll try to speak up more.

– Okay, good.

– Yeah.

That’s good.

So you wanna start

speakin’ up?

Okay. But you’ll try to be

a little more aware, right?

Yeah, yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, and I don’t mean

just in the bedroom.

No, no, no, no!

And if you see the

laundry lying around

or the bills are piling up

or the garbage–

Maybe we should start with the

sex and then see how far we get.

Ray, you know what

I’m talkin’ about, right?

I do. I hear you.

– You’re right.

– Okay. Thank you, honey.

So are you gonna

tell me what you want?

I’ll give it a try.

What would you like?

I’d like you to help me

with the laundry.


– Oh, yeah.

– Wow!


Yeah, yeah.

Well, I’m gonna write

those Sensuopoly people

and tell them we made

up a new square.


While you’re at it, tell them

that square six doesn’t work.



Unless you bring in

a third person.

[theme music]

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